WASHINGTON, D.C.—After revealing she has pneumonia, Hillary Clinton has been forced to take some time off the campaign trail. Donald Trump commented on the culprit he suspects during a recent press conference.
“First of all,” began Trump, “I want to wish my rival a speedy recovery. She looks bad enough when she’s well, so no need to ugly up America while she’s sick. Second, everyone can stop speculating on how she contracted pneumonia. Obviously, it was the Mexicans.”
Asked to clarify his statement, Trump waved off one reporter and moved on to another. When every reporter he called on asked for clarification, he acquiesced.
“I guess this won’t die until I spell it out for your guys,” said Trump as he looked to advisors with his trademark smirk. “Clearly, the woman will eat anything since she’s with Bill. So she must have had a craving for a burrito and the Mexicans made her a pneumonia special. End of story.”
Trump refused to answer any more questions about his theory and commenced to talk about the “devil incarnate”, President Obama.