OTTAWA—Following positive, albeit controversial, results with its approval of non-prescription sales of the 72-hour ‘morning after’ pill (Levonorgestrel) and the 49-day ‘abortion pill’ (Mifegymiso), Health Canada has upped the ante.

Liquefacio, an emergency contraceptive available in France since 1996, will soon be available in Canada and works effectively until as late as 179 days.

“Essentially, once the woman begins taking the course of pills, a gentle, humane process of reversal is initiated,” explains John Furr, a Research & Development scientist at Novartis, the pharmaceutical corporation that manufactures the drug. “After a slow breakdown of tissue, healthy proteins, carbohydrates, lipids, and nucleic acids are released back to the mother, enriching her health.”

Conservative politicians and religious leaders expressed outrage at the announcement, but grassroots supporters emerged in greater numbers. “The real barbarism is that in this day and age, women are still fighting for the right to choose,” one woman shouted, at a gathering on the lawn at Parliament Hill.

In a televised press conference, a spokesperson for Novartis denied any moral wrongdoing. “It’s unfair to characterize it as murder. Think of it as ‘recycling your baby’.”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. You can follow him on Twitter @SebPanache, except he quit posting there after Elon bought it. Search for Mooseclean's on Mastodon instead.

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