Women’s Group Asks: Is It Time for Your Vasectomy?
Heterosexual men of Canada, it’s time for your vasectomy! That’s the message from women’s rights group, Sperm Free Society (SFS). They want men to drop their pants and pick up…
Puzzles are My Precious COVID Companion
SOMEWHERE IN TIME—It started out slowly, just like the virus. With some extra time at home, why not embrace an activity that takes patience and prolonged effort? I borrowed a…
Going for Glory During COVID
TORONTO—Glory be! We can have sex again! The BC Centre for Disease Control (BCCDC) is condoning doing the deed, as long as we take precautions during COVID-19. One suggestion made…
Excuse to Humble Brag Brings Comfort During Isolation
Just because you’re stuck at home doesn’t mean you have to appear lame. Unable to post pictures from hot restaurants, exclusive parties, and exotic travel destinations, people have found a…
Howard Hughes COVID-19 Icon
NORTH AMERICA—As North Americans face the difficulties of living through a global pandemic, a man formerly regarded as a paranoid shut-in is now being held up as an example. Live…
Influencer Convinces Followers Corona beer tied to coronavirus
TORONTO—Corona beer sales have plummeted since an influencer drew a direct connection between the popular import and the coronavirus outbreak. Now the marketer and distributor of Corona products in Canada…
I’m Anxious About my Anti-Anxiety Options
TORONTO—I read that weighted blankets are meant to ease anxiety and help insomnia. But I never felt anxious about my regular-weight bedding until I read about weighted blankets. What else…
Death of Avicii Leaves Gaping Hole in Gym’s Play List
TORONTO—A local music curator is reeling in the wake of DJ and producer Avicii’s death. “I will never compile a prime-time gym playlist the same way again,” said GoodLife Fitness…
Help! My friends joined the Crossfit cult!
Dear Mooseclean’s: Lately, I feel like a number of my friends have fallen victim to a cult. They talk obsessively about their group, use specialized language and berate themselves for…
Gym regulars resolve to stay away until new members give up
WINNIPEG—Neighbourhood gym Hard Bodies has seen a 35% increase in membership since January 1. However, the gym is no more crowded than usual.