RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—The 2016 Rio Summer Olympics are mired in uncertainty. Concerns about pollution, crime and a lack of preparedness have plagued the Games.  Now, a top IOC official has admitted that awarding the Olympics to Brazil had more to do with aesthetics than work ethic.

“When Rio showed up, we were all blown away,” said Simon Balderstone, 2016 IOC Evaluation Commission member. Referring to the site visit in spring 2009, Balderstone said the prospective country sparkled. “Beautiful beaches, gorgeous people, the giant Jesus on the mountain.  We all agreed that spending two weeks in South America would be awesome!”

Five months later, the committee named Brazil as host.  “It seemed like a good idea,” said Balderstone.  “At the time.”

The other cities in the running were Chicago, Madrid and Tokyo.  “In hindsight,” said Balderstone, “I’d take a bunch of rotund Midwesterners over bikini babes in exchange for problem-free Games.  Our decision may have been short-sighted.”

The 2020 Summer Olympics will be hosted by trustworthy, diligent Tokyo.  No shortfalls or mistakes are expected.

By Molly Donovan

I grew up in the USA, but don't hold that against me because I'm also Canadian. Just think of me as the mole.

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