Local liquor store lifts ban on four alcoholics

After rejecting four frequent customers for a period ranging from eight months to three years, the liquor retail outlet at the Important Inn has decided to relax some of its policies — a change the owner says will certainly increase revenue.

“Months of reviewing red spreadsheets can really make a business owner look at his model and say, ‘Have I been banning all the wrong people?'” assistant manager Craig Duville told Mooseclean’s.

Within the first nine days of implementation, all four of the formerly banned customers visited the store, surprised to gain entry to the premises without resistance.

“I didn’t want to swallow my pride and invite them back in but fortunately,  they all tested their luck and tried to come shop again. I could no longer afford to forego their business if I want to reach my sales target this month.”

The adjustment to the business model was prompted by the owner’s new staff incentive program: if monthly sales revenue surpass expenses including interest on compounding debt, surmounting fines issued by the liquor control board and the municipal bylaw officer, along with deductions spurred on from the strong culture of internal theft, Duville is then rewarded with any 26-ounce bottle (under $45) of his choosing.

The ban has been upheld against seven teenagers however, who had intimidated other customers by lingering around the store “forever,” only to finally buy either malt-liquor, and/or tall cans of bargain beer, or discounted coolers, according to Mr. Duville.

A source close to Mooseclean’s said that the lifted bans have managed to trickle-down to the teens.  They have been asking the recently re-allowed customers to make their alcohol purchases for them — a practice that hasn’t been common since the 19-year-olds were underage.

Other changes have also been made at the Important Inn’s liquor retail outlet “to give the customer greater service,” including the forwarding of store clocks by a few minutes at the end of every night to allow for an earlier open.

“When there’s a lineup at 10:45 a.m., it just feels wrong to make them wait. So if our clocks say it’s 11 — guess what?”

Furthermore, the store will set the clocks backward after opening for the day, allowing the Important Inn to sell liquor later in the evening while still abiding by provincial liquor regulations. Duville also hinted that the owner is exploring a new product: home-brewed beer in commercial packaging.

“Our only unique selling point, really, is that we have the lowest prices in town,” Duville explained. “So it’s a real challenge figuring out how to make more money when you can’t jack-up prices.”

The Important Inn will re-open after serving a ten-day suspension for selling liquor to a minor. This current penalty has led to a stiffening of the hotel liquor outlet’s policy; management has decided that a minimum of $75 worth of alcohol be sold to minors, up from $50.

Dan Walton

Between Draxel's apartment, a supervised injection site, and the free Internet here at the library, I get a lot done every week. Just today I clipped my nails and brushed my teeth. And I can run really fast even though I only eat once each day. When I lived with my parents, I would make Kool-aid, and I put a lot more sugar in the pitcher than the package called for. That was then. Now I can't even think about drinking it because I don't have sugar or a pitcher. And where am I gonna get enough water to make a whole jug of Kool-aid? Plus if I did make Kool-aid, who's gonna let me keep it in their fridge?

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