Mixed-gender nude yoga class unsurprisingly a sausage fest

NO NEKKID CHICKS AGREED TO POSE; WHAT ELSE YOGAT? Cosplay yoga, including Superhero and RPG character workouts, are also seeing increasing popularity. (Photo: Steven DePolo, flickr.)

LOCAL—Grace Cann addresses a class of first timers, describing how to arrange their mat and blocks before finally inviting everyone to undress and join her for the first pose. It’s the inaugural session of her studio’s new “Open to All” naked yoga series.

I can’t believe the number of dicks in this room.

~ Absolutely no-one

Founded last summer, the studio previously offered male-only, female-only, and couples classes. Looking at the turnout of the first mixed-gender class—attended by 11 male students—Cann is not discouraged.

“In this rather conservative market, nude yoga itself pushes boundaries,” she says. “It may be some time until the gender ratio achieves a more harmonious balance.”

Even imbalanced however, the sound of cold, hard cash is rolling into Yogahhh! and it is undeniably harmonious.

“From a marketing perspective, I think it’s brilliant, though she should have gone one better and made it a hot nude yoga studio,” observes business strategist Joseph Schwartz. “Her female classes captured the straight women and lesbians; male classes grabbed up the gays. Starting a mixed class was an ingenious way to attract the remaining market outliers: perverts, closet homosexuals, and yeah, even a few actual budding male yogis naïve enough to believe a woman might attend the class.”

After carefully wrapping my sausage, this reporter bid the lady and gentlemen goodnight . . . disappointed, but not surprised.

Any female readers willing to sign up with me so I can get into the couples-only class are invited to write immediately.

Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

Leave a Reply