High-end Toronto homeowners are about to have a convicted terrorist as a neighbour.

Omar Khadr, who killed a US soldier at the age of 15 during the war in Afghanistan, has put a downpayment on 141 Bridle Path.

The neighbourhood is home to the musician Prince and former Toronto Maple Leaf Mats Sundin.

“I’ll give him a slapshot to the face if he tries any of that terrorizing stuff around here,” Sundin assured Mooseclean’s.

Khadr, who’s been incarcerated since 2002, has never been employed outside of prison. However he was able to raise enough money for a downpayment through a fundraising site dedicated to him called www.freeomar.ca.

“Thx guys,” Khadr wrote to his donors in a prepared statement from his lawyer.

Khadr’s decision to invest in real estate came as federal courts pondered whether to grant him bail last week. Racists were upset to learn that Khadr’s effort was successful.

“As a non-white convicted criminal, we are sure that Omar is very likely to reoffend,” said public safety minister Steve Blaney.

As of press deadline, Khadr was steering a Boeing 767 over Manitoba that he highjacked thirty minutes earlier.

By Dan Walton

Between Draxel's apartment, a supervised injection site, and the free Internet here at the library, I get a lot done every week. Just today I clipped my nails and brushed my teeth. And I can run really fast even though I only eat once each day. When I lived with my parents, I would make Kool-aid, and I put a lot more sugar in the pitcher than the package called for. That was then. Now I can't even think about drinking it because I don't have sugar or a pitcher. And where am I gonna get enough water to make a whole jug of Kool-aid? Plus if I did make Kool-aid, who's gonna let me keep it in their fridge?

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