Photo: Reg Natarajan, flickr.

Richmond, B.C.—After spending a week off with their teenagers, Vancouver-area parents Kamal and Nisha Dhaliwal are relieved to be heading back to work.

“They’re such assholes,” sighed Nisha.  “We had a bunch of trips and outings planned and the kids managed to ruin all of them.”

The first day off, the family headed to Grouse Mountain.  Fifteen-year old Natasha brought along her boyfriend, Dez.  “That kid is a real piece of work,” said Kamal.  “When they started dating, I was afraid he’d violate my little girl.  But after seeing the way he clung to Natasha and spoke only in whispers, I just felt embarrassed.  I should have done the boy a favour and thrown him off the mountain.  Would have saved him from the next four years of teen angst.”

The disappointment continued with a mid-week trip to Seattle that was thwarted before the Dhaliwals even crossed the border.  “Fucking Ravi (the Daliwhal’s 13-year-old son) insisted that he was old enough to be responsible for himself. He said we needed to treat him like an adult,” lamented Kamal.  “After two straight hours of texting, he finally looks up once we’re locked into border traffic and mentions that he forgot his passport at home!”

Both CPAs, Nisha and Kamal were anticipating a return to the mundane predictability of work.  “No more kids whining about being bored or spitting on each other in the backseat,” said Nisha.  “Next spring break, we’re going to Mexico.  Without the kids.”

Kamal is looking forward to some adult conversation.  “Once, I wanted to know more about the kids’ interests,” he said.  “But now I can’t stand to hear one more word about The Kardashians or World of Warcraft.  Oh, and we’re banning the word like.”

Asked how they enjoyed spring break, Natasha and Ravi shrugged.  “Mom seemed uptight all week and Dad kept lecturing us about responsibility,” said Ravi.  “Yeah,” agreed Natasha.  “Things seemed pretty normal.”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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