Take Off, Hoser! Bob and Doug Blast Into Space
ISS—Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley rode the SpaceX Crew Dragon spacecraft to the International Space Station, docking on Sunday. That’s right—Bob and Doug went to space. The US press has…
Excuse to Humble Brag Brings Comfort During Isolation
Just because you’re stuck at home doesn’t mean you have to appear lame. Unable to post pictures from hot restaurants, exclusive parties, and exotic travel destinations, people have found a…
Miserable Bastard, Scheming Bitch, Daft Prick Among Plane Crash Casualties
In perusing the accolades for victims of airline tragedy, its easy to wonder why it inordinately claims only the best and brightest of our society: scholars, pacifists, humanitarians, mediators, scientists,…
Exoplanets agree to turn off lights, act like nobody’s home
NASA—Astronomers have found seven Earth-sized planets that they hope will reveal life beyond our globe. Area inhabitants are not amused. “Oh, for Zasafron’s sake!” said TRAPPIST-1e alien Muhammad, choosing to…
Pot to stay on the streets illegally ahead of proposed new regulations
Despite a recent warning from Canada’s toke-friendly prime minister that marijuana will continue to be illegal in this country until a strong regulatory framework is created, pot users and dealers…
Head of anti-terrorism in Egypt: Oops
CAIRO—On September 13, eight Mexican nationals were killed in a case of mistaken identity. While traveling in Egypt’s Western Desert, the group was confused with Islamist terrorists. Mooseclean’s sat down…
Cabbies still drive like jerks in their spare time: study
News from Concordia University now confirms what many have long suspected: taxi drivers still drive like... well, taxi drivers whether they're in their cab or not.
Uber driver has car trouble, calls cab
Last week, Uber driver George Williams needed a ride. En route to pick up a customer, his car broke down. Williams was able to pull off into a parking lot,…
Germanwings 9525 co-pilot crashed plane in passive-aggressive hissy-fit, authorities say
After previously suggesting that Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz had crashed Flight 9525 in order to earn a higher standing within the Church of Satan, French and German authorities now say…
Germanwings 9525 co-pilot collected Satan Club points, authorities say
After shooting down theories of terrorism, French and German authorities now say that Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz was trying to accumulate points to earn a higher standing within the Church…