Reporter routinely plagiarizes self to meet deadlines
Confident in the belief that no one will care—or even notice—given his relative obscurity and the short attention span of the public at large, 'Russell L.' frequently resubmits variations of…
Smokers poorer judge of ‘9 meters’ than non-smokers
The signs are everywhere: you have to be 9 meters from all building entrances and vents to light up. So why does it feel like smokers are still camped out…
Springsteen’s “I’m On Fire” still #1 with pedophiles
Thirty years after its release as the fourth single from his album Born in the U.S.A, The Boss is still tops with child molesters and kiddie pornographers, according to new…
Pixar director predicts flabby future is closer than we think
Image credit: Pixar Andrew Stanton, director of the much-loved computer-animated comedy science fiction film WALL-E, says that the years since its release have done nothing to ease his concerns about…
Whites agree to surrender Blues in exchange for return of NBA
In a bid to resolve a bitter feud which has persisted for generations, whites and blacks are in tense negotiations over the rightful division of key cultural communal properties, primarily…
People more likely to read short articles, study finds
A new report on reading habits has provided some intriguing results.
Dick and Jane file for divorce, ending successful marriage, partnership
For most of his life, Dick Perkins has lived in the public eye, or at least under those eyes still learning to read. “I didn't have a normal childhood. How…
You’re still a stupid, fat hosebag one month after new year’s resolution
It's game over, man. Game over. Your yearly pledge to better yourself has officially failed to take root for an umpteenth consecutive year.
Restaurant owner saddened buffet hog undeterred by food poisoning
After agreeing to speak to Mooseclean's only on the condition that his identity would be obscured, a local Indian restaurateur has revealed the extraordinary lengths he went through to break…
Mixed-gender nude yoga class unsurprisingly a sausage fest
LOCAL—Grace Cann addresses a class of first timers, describing how to arrange their mat and blocks before finally inviting everyone to undress and join her for the first pose. It's…