City-wide intelligence test scheduled for city of Toronto
TORONTO—City Hall has formally announced that legal residents aged 18 or older are invited to attend a voluntary examination of intelligence to be held October 27, 2014.
Leafs look to re-sign Barilko in playoff push
TORONTO—Coming off their best regular mid-season in a decade, analysts are in agreement that the Toronto Maple Leafs have an excellent chance of experiencing this year's Stanley Cup playoffs from…
Canada still contesting with Santa for arctic sovereignty
OTTAWA—Despite another year of goodwill from Old St. Nick, Canada is holding steadfast to its claim over the North Pole, previously filed with the UN Commission on the Limits of…
Politicians race to meet “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year” deadline
With the calendar rapidly running out, federal and municipal politicians alike are making their last, best pitches for the coveted “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year Award” for 2013. Taking…
Just in time for Christmas, Tory MP launches “Don’t Feed the Children” Foundation
with files from amiableCDN OTTAWA—In a bold move to solidly underscore his contention that it is not the federal government's role to ensure hungry children are fed, Industry Minister James…
Stephen Harper’s Twelve Days of Christmas
with inspiration from Sharon Dunn On the first day of Christmas The PM gave to me Some muzzles for his own MPs On the second day of Christmas The PM…
Senators, MPs support bill to limit PM’s power over bus waiting lounge
with files from amiableCDN OTTAWA—While Ontario MP Michael Chong's controversial private member's bill to reform Parliament has so far failed to garner the widespread support he had hoped, all is…
Feckless physician stunned by success of last-ditch veterinary venture
From the Mooseclean's 'Feelgood Files', a story of triumph after adversity. LOCAL—"I'll admit it," revealed Dr. Hamish Masdit. "I was one step away from being one of those cruise ship…
Redskins announce list of alternative team names
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an apparent yield to public pressure and the latest appeal from The National Congress of American Indians, the Washington Redskins have finally announced willingness to to explore a…
Bobbleheads will protect CBC jobs from Rogers goons, Lacroix says
with files from amiableCDN Rogers Sportsnet, the rookie team in the league of Canadian sports broadcasting, has checked its senior competitors into the boards. With their historic deal for NHL…