The news, improved.
WASHINGTON — In what critics have dubbed the “Council of Contradictions,” President-elect Drumpf’s latest proposed cabinet appointments have raised eyebrows, questions, and the blood pressure of anyone who has ever…
In a twist no one anticipated (or, perhaps, everyone secretly hoped for), a resurgence of the #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain campaign has emerged following the Cheeto-in-Chief’s successful presidential bid. Once the viral centerpiece…
WASHINGTON – In a move that left political analysts scrambling for new definitions of irony, the American people have elected a convicted felon as their 47th president. Donald J. Drumpf,…
Former President Donald Drumpf has reportedly completely lost the ability to listen after a botched attempt on his life left him with a grazed ear. However, insiders claim that the…
OTTAWA — Sociologists and etiquette aficionados alike continue grappling with a societal shift of unprecedented proportions. The overall consensus blames the presidency of Donald Drumpf and the subsequent COVID-19 lockdown…
Dear Americans, lock your doors, turn on all the lights, and clutch your loved ones tight. The 2024 presidential election season is here, and it’s shaping up to be a…
He was known as the ‘younger’ Trump, the ‘quieter’ Trump, the ‘actually-not-an-asshole’ Trump, and the ‘surpisingly-not-bat-fucking-insane’ Trump. He was a patient supporter and eloquent defender of his elder brother, and…
Hawaii—Unstable. Unpredictable. A wispy orange top. It practically named itself. With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have…
WORLD—After taunting each other publicly over North Korean missile tests, world leaders Donald Drumpf and Kim Jong-un have a new beef. They can’t agree who should sit astride the third…
WASHINGTON—Deadwood, the fictional American western television show with elements of racism, corruption and blue language, has been identified as the inspiration for Donald J. Drumpf’s White House. “I’m a big…