The Art of The Deal – Jonathan Pie
The Great Negotiator sells out Ukraine – and the UK’s favourite grifter is behind him every step of the way.
Donald Drumpf Has Been Operating With Only 10% of His Brain – And He’s Been Doing It Bigly
In explanation of his long history of questionable decisions, top neuroscientists have confirmed what many have long suspected: President Drumpf may be suffering from an extreme case of hydrocephalus, a…
Ottawa Names New Dog Park in Honour of Donald Drumpf
OTTAWA — In a move that has Canadians barking with laughter, the City of Ottawa announced today it will name its newest dog park after the once-and-current U.S. President. The…
The Donald Hires Collections Agency to Pursue Mexico’s Border Wall Payment
WASHINGTON — Once and future President Donald Drumpf, never one to abandon a campaign promise, has taken an unconventional step to secure funding for his long-touted border wall: hiring a…
Drumpf Declares Plan to Annex Canada
WASHINGTON — In a move that has left diplomats scratching their heads and Canadians furiously Googling “impeachment from abroad,” former and future President Donald Drumpf has announced his latest ambition:…
Idiot Elected to Run Country to Appoint Other Idiots to Help Run Country
WASHINGTON — In what critics have dubbed the “Council of Contradictions,” President-elect Drumpf’s latest proposed cabinet appointments have raised eyebrows, questions, and the blood pressure of anyone who has ever…
#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain, Take 2
In a twist no one anticipated (or, perhaps, everyone secretly hoped for), a resurgence of the #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain campaign has emerged following the Cheeto-in-Chief’s successful presidential bid. Once the viral centerpiece…
Americans Elect Convicted Felon as President
WASHINGTON – In a move that left political analysts scrambling for new definitions of irony, the American people have elected a convicted felon as their 47th president. Donald J. Drumpf,…
Don the Con Retains Hearing, Loses Ability to Listen Following Failed Assassination
Former President Donald Drumpf has reportedly completely lost the ability to listen after a botched attempt on his life left him with a grazed ear. However, insiders claim that the…
Drumpf Election, COVID-19 Lockdown Delivered Knockout Punch to Human Decorum
OTTAWA — Sociologists and etiquette aficionados alike continue grappling with a societal shift of unprecedented proportions. The overall consensus blames the presidency of Donald Drumpf and the subsequent COVID-19 lockdown…