Sidney Crosby confuses Gatorade for gasoline
Yesterday, on his way home from the golf course, Sidney Crosby ran out of gas in his Range Rover and was temporarily stranded by the side of the road. “I…
Local man saddened that women unimpressed by testicles dangling from trailer hitch
Larry Anderson, 39, is a man in search of answers. Staring pensively out of the window of his blue Dodge Ram, his eyes search his surroundings for clues.
Liberal plan for fairness can only be achieved with unfair majority
The Liberal Party unveiled their plan for fairness earlier this month and party leader Justin Trudeau was elated. “We’re really excited to bring this policy forward and hope Canadians will…
Maple Leafs expect new coach Mike Babcock to shave at least 5 strokes off their golf game
The Toronto Maple Leafs today announced that Mike Babcock will become the 30th Head Coach in team history. “Mike will take this team where it hasn’t been since 1967—the fairway,”…
Cabbies still drive like jerks in their spare time: study
News from Concordia University now confirms what many have long suspected: taxi drivers still drive like... well, taxi drivers whether they're in their cab or not.
Pan Am shirt debacle dubbed (Water) Polo-Gate
Ahead of the Pan Am games, Joe Fresh will need to give volunteers the shirt off its back. The clothier is on the hook after delivering a botched order of…
Latent racism evident in modern laundry sorting and storage
Segregation is alive and well at the Gravelle residence. White towels upstairs; coloured towels downstairs.