Jian Ghomeshi force choked me, young Jedi apprentice claims
A short time ago, in a municipality not far away, Cora Pell told us of a day long remembered: the time she nearly succumbed to the Dark Side. "He was…
Wife-beating, homophobic, substance abuser regrets decision not to run for Toronto city council
Photo: Colleen Morgan, flickr. TORONTO—With the results of the election now confirmed, John Lewandowski nervously plays with his crack pipe. "My bookie said my chances were good, I should have…
Fat, stupid escalator riders eaten by zombie inventor gone amok
Most people have never heard of Jesse Wilford Reno but too many, it seems, are habitual abusers of his most famous invention: the escalator. "I've been rolling in my grave…
Thousands of Jian Ghomeshi “jilted ex-lovers” emerge to pledge undying support
After being fired by the CBC for alleged acts of non-consensual rough sex with an ex-girlfriend, a flood of similar ex-lovers have now come out in support of the beleaguered…
Ontario Deputy Premier to fix homeless problem by mass deportation
With above-average literacy, healthcare-fortified bodies, and predominantly white skin, Canada's homeless are a booming export to America's economically decimated subprime mortgage crisis urban wastelands. Deputy Premier Deb Matthews has finally…