Letters to the editor: I’m not really here
Recently, I came to the realization that I don't exist; I haven't for years. And when I say years, I do in fact mean infinity, it's just that I'm lazy,…
Conservative MPP clarifies statements regarding “ethnic cleansing”
Conservative MPP Robert McGuire held a press conference yesterday, after comments he made to a reporter on live television resulted in public outrage. McGuire, MPP for Haldimand-Norfolk in Southern Ontario,…
finklebottom
Stephen Hillenburg’s attempt at an emoticon cartoon character, Brightpants Sadface, never really found a target audience.
National Pride and International Ignorance
NORTH AMERICA—It’s a momentous week for patriotism in the important part of North America. Both Canadians and Americans will use their national holidays as an excuse to eat BBQ, enjoy…
Iron Maiden to close Ottawa Jazzfest
OTTAWA—Tearing a page from the book of Ottawa Bluesfest festival director Mark Monahan, the organizers of Jazzfest have made a last-minute announcement that geriatric heavy metal act Iron Maiden will…
“Crazy Town” Circus returns to Toronto
It’s not often that the same circus comes to town more than once a year, but this one is an exception. Crazy Town1 circus left Toronto briefly in early May…
US back to not giving two-shits about World Cup
ALL IN ONE RHYTHM™ MY ASS: Only one of these games was worth seeing, and then only if the referee hadn't shamlessly thrown the game away in favour of the…
World Cup 2014 is over
EARTH—For all intents and purposes, the World Cup is over or so it seems for many who are FIFA-obsessed. With favorites Italy and England out and defending 2010 champs Spain…
Miley Cyrus lights herself on fire and runs into a fireworks factory, killing 75
Photo: Hot Gossip Italia, flickr. Millions were saddened today to learn of the apparent death of musician, actress, and freakshow spectacle Miley Cyrus, via a written story by Christopher Hooton…