WINNIPEG—An 18-year-old man has been detained with charges pending following the stabbing death of a married couple.

Geoffrey Alouette was arrested yesterday.

A dozen witnesses observed the suspect approach the couple from behind. Mr. Alouette is said to have pulled a gun from his coat pocket and shot the pair with two bullets each. He then produced a knife and stabbed each person repeatedly, before bludgeoning them with a broken hockey stick procured from a nearby trash bin.

Critics are suggesting that the police force’s hesitation in formally declaring the deaths as murder is related to a municipal initiative to reduce crime in the city.

“Statistics Canada has pegged The Peg as Canada’s #1 hot spot for homicides for years,” said crime analyst Rory Tate. “If you can’t prevent or reduce murder, you re-classify.”

Chief of Police Devon Clunis, denied any ulterior motives citing the need to scrutinize the credibility of witnesses as paramount.

“Two lawyers, a used car salesman, an investment banker, a journalist, a plumber, an electrician, an auto mechanic, three real estate agents and a politician,” Clunis said. “We can’t just take these people at their word, you know.”

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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