It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA—They’re dropping like flies at the Australian Open. With temperatures topping 40 degrees Celsius, fans and players alike are succumbing to Mother Nature. “I’m from Canada, and I don’t…
France relieved by Hollande infidelity revelations
While many around the world were troubled by reports of French President François Hollande's extra-marital affair with actress Julie Gayet, citizens of France were in a celebratory mood today. "Before…
Syria legalizes marijuana
In adopting Uruguay's new model of regulating the legal sale of recreational marijuana, the Middle Eastern nation of Syria has passed a bill which will allow the legal sale of…
Quiznos new nine-inch sub aims to please
Above: One woman deeply satisfied... the other buries her frustrations in a book. CANADA—A new Quiznos television ad declares Sometimes six inches isn’t enough, and sometimes twelve inches is too…
Half of Mars One applicants from Winnipeg, Dutch say
From an applicant pool of over 200,000, just over a thousand people are now still in contention to be the the first residents of Mars—and many of them are from…
Conservative Party rally to annex neighbours
CALGARY—Faced with serious concerns by many Canadians and challenges raised by the opposition parties to the Harper Government plan to annex the North Pole, the Chancellor of the Right himself…
City-wide intelligence test scheduled for city of Toronto
TORONTO—City Hall has formally announced that legal residents aged 18 or older are invited to attend a voluntary examination of intelligence to be held October 27, 2014.
No free lunch for hungry Torontonians
TORONTO—The ice storm that hit Toronto December 21st left a trail of destruction including broken trees, downed hydro lines and a widespread power outage. It was also responsible for a…