Syria legalizes marijuana

In adopting Uruguay’s new model of regulating the legal sale of recreational marijuana, the Middle Eastern nation of Syria has passed a bill which will allow the legal sale of the drug throughout the country.

“Not only will this add vibrancy to our unique tourism industry, but the legalization of cannabis will liberate our people against the arbitrary restriction against one of our God’s earthly creations,” said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

Similar to regulations in Colorado, USA, domestic buyers will be allowed up to 28 grams of product in a single purchase, while visiting smokers will be limited to 7 gram purchases.

“We have imposed reasonable reforms to further promote the free-spirited attitude of Syrian life,” Hala Nasser, Minister of Tourism told Mooseclean’s.

The taxation rate on the drug has been set at 22%. The revenue from marijuana sales will be directed towards military efforts, as armed conflicts are significantly costing the Syrian government substantial amounts in dealing with a deadly uprising initiated in 2011 by demonstrators who were protesting against the criminalization of marijuana.

A new strain of cannabis, “The Middle Ease,” which will be a crossbreed between two popular brands. It will be produced in the nation’s capital, but has already been nicknamed, “Dank Damascus Dope,” by popular seniors at several Syrian high schools.

Pharmacies in major Syrian cities will begin the sale of marijuana to the public by April 20th, after public consultation with local community groups, business leaders, and Hezbollah.

To book your trip in the latest nation to liberalize its pot laws, visit tripadvisor.ca/syria.

Dan Walton

Dan Walton

Between Draxel’s apartment, a supervised injection site, and the free Internet here at the library, I get a lot done every week. Just today I clipped my nails and brushed my teeth. And I can run really fast even though I only eat once each day.
When I lived with my parents, I would make Kool-aid, and I put a lot more sugar in the pitcher than the package called for. That was then. Now I can’t even think about drinking it because I don’t have sugar or a pitcher. And where am I gonna get enough water to make a whole jug of Kool-aid? Plus if I did make Kool-aid, who’s gonna let me keep it in their fridge?

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