Regular coffee in plain cup feels like ‘a time warp to the past’
I've always loved travelling. I've been halfway around the world in search of myself and the meaning of human existence. But it was during a morning pee somewhere in the…
Survey finds subways dirtier after cleaning jobs were cut
NEW YORK—According to the latest report card issued by the NYC Transit Authority, both subway cars and subway stations have become distinctly more cluttered. The report cards are based on…
Man steals clock, faces time
LOCAL—A man who reportedly spent 'hours staring' at a priceless grandfather clock in a downtown antique shop now faces time after being convicted for its theft, police say. Daryl Firkins,…
Kumon, Sylvan offer free remedial math to Senators
OTTAWA—In separate press conferences held today, Kumon Math and Reading Centres and Sylvan Learning Centres of Ottawa both announced the availability of free remedial mathematics courses for any Canadian Senators…
Experts predict serious days ahead
Psychiatrists, humourologists and 1-900 psychics are predicting a deep recession in the amount of contrived lunacy, a recent study has found. "This is a grim forecast indeed," said Bartholomew Cornplaster,…
Weight loss firm’s social media outreach campaign disappoints
TORONTO—After mounting a novel campaign to lure new customers on Twitter, a nationwide weight loss and nutrition company is conceding defeat.
Newer, even better version of Sammy Yatim shooting emerges
TORONTO—New video footage of the Sammy Yatim shooting has surfaced, Mooseclean's has learned. This time in crisp, clear high definition.
Jimmy Fallon to rename Late Night show, add co-host
NEW YORK—Late Night talk show host and new father Jimmy Fallon has a new co-host.
Ford outraged by Sammy Yatim shooting
TORONTO—Addressing media at a press conference late Tuesday, Mayor Rob Ford expressed anger and embarrassment over his police department's fatal shooting of a young man on a Toronto streetcar.
Dryers suspected in Ontario women’s underwear thefts
HAMILTON TOWNSHIP, Ontario—After investigating a number of persons of interest in relation to a rash of unusual thefts in and around the Town of Cobourg, Northumberland O.P.P. now have suspects…