Don the Con blames Clinton’s pneumonia on Mexicans
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After revealing she has pneumonia, Hillary Clinton has been forced to take some time off the campaign trail. Donald Drumpf commented on the culprit he suspects during a recent…
Coffee houses burn in java gangland
OTTAWA—A bitter turf war between two rival upstarts and the industry powerhouses has seemingly resulted in another java joint burned to the ground.
Eyewitnesses sought in vehicular death
LOCAL—Police are requesting assistance from witnesses to the hit and run death of a young male by a motor vehicle at the corner of Hunt and Green.
Best Canadian Olympics Ever?
After a couple or weeks in Rio, the Canadian Olympic Team enjoyed great success. The team finished tenth in the medal standings, including four Gold. We had some great contributors…
America wants Grace, Too
U.S.A.—After witnessing the love-in produced by the final concert of The Tragically Hip’s Man Machine Poem tour, the U.S. is looking for a band to create national unity.
IOC admits to hiring Brazil for its looks
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL—The 2016 Rio Summer Olympics are mired in uncertainty. Concerns about pollution, crime and a lack of preparedness have plagued the Games. Now, a top IOC official…
UK wants to “Breturn” after England falls to Iceland
LONDON—The nation that voted to stand alone on June 23 is now having doubts. After England lost 2-1 to Iceland in the tournament of 16, many fear the UK may…
Trudeau, Obama and other guy in Ottawa for North American leaders’ summit
For the first time since 2007, the so-called Three Amigos—the Canadian Prime Minister, the President of the United States of America, and the person in charge of Mexico—are back in…