Oversight pairs peanut and anaphylactic awareness days
In a blunder sure to result in panic and countless deaths, April 25 has been designated both National Peanut Day and Anaphylactic Awareness Day.
Toronto Maple Leafs sign Burger King as Head Coach and General Manager
The Toronto Maple Leafs have hired former Burger King mascot The Burger King to a 5 year deal. King is expected to take on both duties of the General Manager…
Ontario Liberals to continue teaching masturbation not math
A crowd of approximately 3,000 angry parents gathered in front of Queen’s Park in Toronto to protest the Ontario Liberal government and their radical sex-education program developed by a pedophile.
Periscope app the latest technology to be appropriated by online pervs
Twitter launched a new app and it’s already popping up in unwanted places. Less than two weeks old, Periscope has a lot of people talking. And watching.
Canada to send “Non Combat” troops to Ukraine
Sources in the Canadian military have confirmed that Canada will be sending troops to Ukraine in a “non-combative” role.
Therapist urges patient to cut ties with her emotionally abusive favourite sports team
A therapist is urging 28-year-old fan Trish Kelsey to sever all ties with her favourite sports team, whose perennial losing ways have become abusive.
New Daily Show host’s offensive tweets lead to tech advances
Handpicked by John Stewart to replace him as host of The Daily Show, Trevor Noah is already proving to be a controversial figure for the producers at Comedy Central.
Uber driver has car trouble, calls cab
Last week, Uber driver George Williams needed a ride. En route to pick up a customer, his car broke down. Williams was able to pull off into a parking lot,…