Passport hopes dashed
VANCOUVER—Now that Canadian passports can be renewed for ten years, local thirty-something Melanie Bart was looking forward to her stunning new picture. “I thought this was my big chance! I…
Insensitive boy’s Facebook cancer announcement traumatizes millions
Millions of well-meaning adults and one broken-hearted child were left scarred and devastated yesterday after a photograph of a boy holding up a sign reading “I’VE LOST MY BATTLE WITH…
Canada’s top Economics prof admits: “I don’t get it”
William Langille, one of Canada’s top Economics professors at the University of Toronto, has admitted that he doesn’t actually understand our economic system at all. “I don’t get it,” he…
Calorie counts to curb obesity? Fat chance!
OTTAWA—Health Minister Deb Matthews has announced legislation requiring fast food chains to display calorie and nutritional information on their menus and menu boards. Officials hope the move will help the…
Study finds 75% of pay-per-view buyers don’t perceive a difference between UFC and gay porn
A new study by an independent marketing firm has discovered that 75% of the pay-per-view sales from the recent UFC 169 event were from people who thought they were ordering…
Trudeau calls Dibs on assisted suicide
Federal Liberals have voted in favour of legalizing assisted suicide. Leader Justin Trudeau, hesitant, at first, to reveal whether he would join with his party in endorsing Right to Die…
Scarborough man makes his own luck
Christmas at his parent’s house always meant new socks. However, last year, in addition to the socks, Sebastian Crawley got an idea that changed his life forever. “We opened presents…