HAMILTON—A local man is claiming the extremely harsh winter is a result of his prayers for God to help him with small talk.

“The weather hasn’t been an acceptable topic for small talk in years,” explained Ralph Willow, 26. “Now I don’t need to have my hair cut by a deaf barber.”

It hasn’t been all smiles, admitted the local father of none. “I’ve had to do a record high amount of shoveling, but I’ve had a record low amount of awkward silences.”

He added that he “[hasn’t] been this excited since they invented self check out,” and that the weather came at the perfect time, as he had been going to drastic measures to find a way to converse with his fellow man.

“Remember the Malaysian plane that went missing? Guilty! I had been absolutely dreading having nothing to talk about at my high school reunion,” revealed Willow.

When asked how he feels about the coming spring, he looked away sheepishly, before exclaiming,”Great weather, huh?”

Photo credit: Chris Ford, Flickr.

By Matt Colella

Canadian comedy writer / comedian canady writer. Hit me up at mcolella27@gmail.com or 9055188685. Check out my Podcast "What You Sayin?", on iTunes. Check out my sketch comedy group, The Happy Elevator: www.facebook.com/thehappyelevator Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/thehappyelevator

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