Baby’s Dramatic Baptismal Meltdown Stuns Churchgoers
TRURO, Nova Scotia (AP) — The tranquil town of Truro was thrown into disarray last Sunday when baby Olivia Thompson, just six months old, staged a dramatic protest during her…
Frosty the Snowman canonized by Catholic Church
VATICAN CITY—Frosty the Snowman is a fairy tale they say, but don’t tell that to the Roman Catholic Church. After decades of debate, the famed jolly, happy soul is not…
God Planning Epic April Fools’ Joke for Easter Sunday
WORLD—This coming Sunday, two important events will take place simultaneously: Easter and April Fools’ Day. God said he plans to honour the coincidence with a legendary joke. “When I realized…
Help! My friends joined the Crossfit cult!
Dear Mooseclean’s: Lately, I feel like a number of my friends have fallen victim to a cult. They talk obsessively about their group, use specialized language and berate themselves for…
Pope’s treatise like a letter to Penthouse
Pope Francis has penned a church document entitled “The Joy of Love”, and devout Catholics are saying it reads like a letter to Penthouse.
David Bowie’s follow of God puzzles religious fans
Christian critics of music icon David Bowie are concerned that his end-of-life decision to follow God may not be enough to save him from eternal damnation for his sins, including…
White Man told to ‘go back home’ in note found in mailbox
A Caucasian man in the Gloucester subdivision of Ottawa has called police after discovering a handwritten note in his mailbox informing him that “Canada is no place for terrorists or…
Conspiracy theorists argue U.S. lied about finding Bin Laden’s bookshelf
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Local podcast host Tom Doory is arguing that the discovery of Osama Bin Laden’s bookshelf is a blatant lie, and that the government may have covered up actually finding…
Muslims still obviously responsible for Germanwings crash, common sense suggests
Wherever disaster strikes, a guilty brown man is somewhere nearby, or so we are often led to believe. There's no convincing some people that Muslims aren't the root of all…
Germanwings 9525 co-pilot collected Satan Club points, authorities say
After shooting down theories of terrorism, French and German authorities now say that Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz was trying to accumulate points to earn a higher standing within the Church…