OTTAWA—It seems that Radio-Canada is here to stay. Last week’s statement by executive vice-president Louis Lalande that claimed “From now on we’re just ‘here’, at least for now” has been dismissed by the Crown broadcaster as ‘a miscommunication’. Either that, or ‘now’ turned out to be a very short time indeed.

Mooseclean’s tried to reach M. Lalande for clarification of his statement but our messages were not returned.  When we dropped by his house, his mother met us at the door.

“Louis has been a very naughty, naughty boy and has been punished for it.  I can say no more,” Mme. Lalande told us. “He will be back at work in his office as soon as he is able to sit down again,” she said, adding, “Go talk to Hubert. I am told that his mother is allowing him visitors again.”

Hubert LaCroix, President and CEO of Radio-Canada was allowed to talk to reporters under his mother’s supervision.

“Maman has helped me to understand how our statements about re-branding may have been misinterpreted by the Canadian public,” LaCroix said, with hands behind his back, surreptitiously massaging his derrière. “Rest assured that our only intention was to enhance Radio-Canada by adding ‘Ici’ to the current branding.”

When asked how adding ‘Ici’ to the Radio-Canada brand was a ‘new enhancement’ given that the federally-funded network has been broadcasting the slogan ‘Ici Radio-Canada’ for decades, Mme. LaCroix immediately grabbed her son by the earlobe and led him back inside the house. Hubert LaCroix, looking terrified, remained silent and clutching his buttocks as the door slammed in the faces of pursuing reporters.

Mooseclean’s will publish additional updates on this story once official CBC spokespersons are no longer grounded.

By Sebastian Panache

Editor-in-Chief. Follow him on Twitter @SebPanache. Or don’t. It’s okay, really.

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