Heartwarming Commercial Turns Vile on Repeated Viewings
CANADA—A commercial that once inspired audiences to say awwwwww is now inciting annoyance and anger in viewers. “When I first saw that ad where the woman gives her sick child…
Drumpf-era White House uses HBO’s Deadwood as Model
WASHINGTON—Deadwood, the fictional American western television show with elements of racism, corruption and blue language, has been identified as the inspiration for Donald J. Drumpf’s White House. “I’m a big…
Jane Austen Banknote Campaign Fraught with Turmoil and Misunderstanding Prior to Happy Ending
LONDON—“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like having her face on a banknote!” said exuberant Jane Austen supporter, Anna Trontin. “I must learn to be content with being…
Drumpf Drunk-Texted Putin Ahead of Friday Meeting
WASHINGTON, DC—U up? It was perhaps the result of too many light beers, a full day of golfing in the sun and not enough hot dogs. On Independence Day, in…
Cosby to Enlighten New Generation of Abusers with Speaking Tour
ALABAMA—After escaping sexual assault charges in a trial that resulted in a hung jury, Bill Cosby is ready to educate the masses. “I thought to myself, how can I monetize…
Melania Moves Into the White House on the Condition that The Donald Moves Out
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After five months of living apart, the President of the United States and the first lady are now living apart in different places. When elected, the Cheeto-in-Chief claimed he…
Wynne – Tory Fighting Reminds Us of Our Parents’ Divorce
TORONTO—Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Mayor John Tory claim they want to do what’s best for us, the province of Ontario and the city of Toronto. But their constant…
French Trump Defeated by Rational Citizens
FRANCE—Last week, Emmanuel Macron defeated Marine LePen in a runoff to become the President of France. The fact that a democratic nation could differentiate between a far-right racist and a…
Taco Bell eliminates middleman by serving alcohol
CANADA—Taco Bell and alcohol go hand-in-hand. Now the fast food giant is condensing a two-step process into one-stop shopping. “Beginning in June, Taco Bell will be serving beer at select…
Sign of the Times
TORONTO—The art piece that literally defines Toronto has fallen into disrepair. Installed at Nathan Phillips Square for the 2015 Pan American Games, the Toronto sign has become an iconic tourist…