Photo: Tammra McCauley (CC BY-SA) CLEVELAND, OHIO—Cleveland is known as home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and birthplace of Drew Carey. But C-Town may soon be famous for zombie babies.
BRANTFORD, ON—Local parents were outraged after finding slips of paper containing harsh facts of life amongst their children’s Halloween candy.
While Bluetooth headsets and in-ear headphones with mobile phone microphones are not new technology, some still yearn for the simpler times.
After convincing a pretty woman he met at the Penguin and Firckin Pub to spend the night at his place, 29-year-old Mark Bayston was unsuccessful in penetrating her reproductive organs with a chemically-induced flaccid penis.
Madonna is allegedly doing it.
Carrie Fisher is probably doing it, too. Disney insists.
So should you hop on the latest diet craze?
“There have been claims that laughter is the best medicine,” Dr. Karen Wong said earlier today. “Now we have empirical evidence showing that while laughter is good for you, it’s not better than medicine.”
…Mickey Rooney, Lauren Bacall, Christopher Lee… they all have one thing in common: they’re dead. Meanwhile, somewhere in New Jersey, Abe Vigoda doggedly continues his tireless living streak.
In the latest initiative to make itself completely indispensable to the human race, Google has announced beta availability for its new physician replacement app.
As of July 1, feminine hygiene products will be exempt from the federal portion of the GST. While women across the nation rejoice, men are feeling left out.
In a blunder sure to result in panic and countless deaths, April 25 has been designated both National Peanut Day and Anaphylactic Awareness Day.