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Life

Trump indentified as Patient Zero in Creepy Clown epidemic

November 8, 2016Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

U.S.A.—Since August, sightings of creepy clowns or “killer clowns” have been reported across the U.S., Canada and even in the U.K.  Now, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is reporting that Donald Trump has been identified as the… Continue Reading →

Donovan, Entertainment, Health, Life, Politics

Health Canada approves ‘Season After the Morning After’ Pill

November 2, 2016Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

Photo: Michael Chen (CC-BY-2.0) OTTAWA—Following positive, albeit controversial, results with its approval of non-prescription sales of the 72-hour ‘morning after’ pill (Levonorgestrel) and the 49-day ‘abortion pill’ (Mifegymiso), Health Canada has upped the ante.

Business, Death, Health, Life, Panache, Sex

Killer nurse to publish poetry collection

October 26, 2016Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

Elizabeth Tracy Mae Wettlaufer, accused of first-degree murder in the deaths of eight Ontario nursing-home wards, is poised to become a published author. According to trusted sources, several North American publishing houses are vying for the rights to distribute original… Continue Reading →

Crime, Death, Life, Panache, Poetry

Letters to the Editor: An Elephant Never Forgets

October 4, 2016Faithful Reader Leave a Comment

In 1987, Duane Butler went on holiday in Gabon, after graduating from the University of Manitoba. On a hike through the coastal plains, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so… Continue Reading →

Letters, Life, Nature

Hairballs haunt man after failed relationship

September 30, 2016Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

NANAIMO, B.C.—A Roto-Rooter truck sits on the curb outside Dave Cosburn’s house.  Inside, Cosburn faces a hairy situation.

Business, Donovan, Life

‘Well Baby’ still ‘doing well’ at age 30

September 20, 2016Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

MIDLAND, Texas—When 18-month-old Jessica McClure fell into a well in her aunt’s backyard in 1987, many feared for her well-being, wondering not only how she would recover physically from the incident, but how she could go to live a normal… Continue Reading →

Life, Panache

Eyewitnesses sought in vehicular death

September 1, 2016Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment
Photo credit: Tom Podolec, flickr.

LOCAL—Police are requesting assistance from witnesses to the hit and run death of a young male by a motor vehicle at the corner of Hunt and Green.

Death, Life, Local, Panache

Prince Harry declares Trudeau “Ultimate Wingman”

May 5, 2016Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

Photo: Koennz (CC-BY 2.0) TORONTO—Prince Harry was in Toronto on Monday to launch pet project Invictus Games, which will take place in the city next year.  The trip, however, was not all business.

Donovan, Drugs, Justin Trudeau, Life, Royals, Sex

New Purple Rain song teen’s favourite

April 26, 2016Molly Donovan Leave a Comment

P.E.I.—Grade 11 student Jordan Wexler recently discovered a new song he thinks will be a big hit.  “Have you heard Purple Rain by Adam Levine?” asked Wexler.  “It’s totes amazing!”

Continue Reading →

Culture, Donovan, Life, Music

Bitch-slapping skank-chokers applaud Ghomeshi verdict

March 25, 2016Sebastian Panache Leave a Comment

Photo: Vladimir Pustovit (CC BY-2.0) The acquittal of media personality and hate-fucker Jian Ghomeshi on all counts of sexual assault and choking is being celebrated nationwide today.

Culture, Entertainment, Life, Panache, Radio, Sex

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