Ottawa Police unite in support of fatal beating death
OTTAWA—Over 1,200 wristbands embossed with the words “United we stand / divided we fall” along with “#1998” have been purchased by members of the Ottawa Police Service and their supporters.…
Impark offers adult colouring program
Keen to embrace the adult colouring trend while it lasts, a North American parking company has apparently unveiled a special customer appreciation program in select garages across the continent. Observers…
PaperSave too complex for public servants
Imagine you had an employee that consistently misfiled papers. Instead of the right-hand cabinet, they used the left. Concerned, you placed prominent signs on each cabinet to specify “Papers here”…
Resolutions broken one day into new year, man admits
LOCAL—On January 1, Glenn Dickson pledged that this would be the year he would take charge of his health: quit smoking, quit drinking, and lower his saturated fats. “I meant…
White Christmas marginalizes non-whites, sociologist suggests
In the age of global warming, the concept of a White Christmas is radically shifting, claims Angelina Drury, Assistant Professor at University of British Columbia’s Department of Sociology.
Marie Lemay urged to donate executive bonus pay to GC workplace charitable campaign
Ottawa public servants are now asking Public Services Deputy Minister Marie Lemay to assist in decreasing the shortfall in this year’s Government of Canada Charitable Workplace Campaign.
United Way CEO urged to donate after Ottawa campaign ‘at risk of falling short’
Ottawa public servants are urging United Way President and CEO Brian Gallagher to donate to the Government of Canada Charitable Workplace Campaign, which is “at risk” of falling short of…
Amazon confirms ‘send glitter to your enemies’ drone delivery is coming
Prime Air, Amazon’s drone-powered delivery system, promises to safely deliver packages to customers in 30 minutes or less. But what if you want to deliver mischief?
Racist, xenophobic, sexual offender regrets decision not to run for President
‘MERICA—With the results of the election now confirmed, Eddie Farnsworth nervously plays with his toupée.
Health Canada approves ‘Season After the Morning After’ Pill
OTTAWA—Following positive, albeit controversial, results with its approval of non-prescription sales of the 72-hour ‘morning after’ pill (Levonorgestrel) and the 49-day ‘abortion pill’ (Mifegymiso), Health Canada has upped the ante.