Facebook activist better than everyone
NORTH BAY, Ontario—Shawn McIntyre's unrelenting Facebook posts on subjects ranging from Monsanto to oil corruption make him a better person than all of us and we should be ashamed for…
Game of Thrones fans still in shock after seeing Jon Snow’s butt cheeks
LOS ANGELES—Fans of HBO’s hit TV show Game of Thrones are still mentally recovering from a recent episode that exposed both of heartthrob character Jon Snow’s butt cheeks...
Ottawa Bluesfest to feature blues artists
OTTAWA—Sad news today for Ottawans hoping to chow down on Jimmy Eat World or get their Dixie Chicks fix at this year's Ottawa Bluesfest. Festival director Mark Monahan has revealed…
Canada’s city mayors support Ford
TORONTO—"Everything is going fine," Rob Ford has said. "I'm keeping taxes low. I've saved a billion dollars. I've been keeping crack off Toronto streets nearly single-handedly. Things are great." But…
Rob Ford just trying to keep drugs off the street
TORONTO—In an unprecedented turn of events today regarding the alleged Rob Ford crack video, the Toronto Mayor revealed it's all true, stating that he was just doing his civic duty…
U.S.-Mexico drug tunnel discovered
SAN DIEGO, California—Authorities reported today the discovery of a five-foot-wide underground tunnel that they believe to be the work of traffickers operating along the U.S.-Mexican border. In addition to providing…
Local man still only on Season 2 of Arrested Development
TORONTO—Darren Grant of Scarborough, Ontario is having a hard time relating to his peers as he is not fully caught up on the new season of Arrested Development released this…
Courtney Love is ‘the voice of reason’ in Amanda Bynes vagina slapping brouhaha
It's a tough job being Amanda Bynes these days. Once the darling of Nickelodeon, she went on to make a number of forgettable movies, fail miserably as a fashion designer,…
Rob Ford’s dog resigns citing violence, substance abuse, infidelity
TORONTO—The chips just keep falling for Toronto's beleaguered mayor: nacho chips, casino chips, and now animal microchips. Word came late last night that Ford's beloved mongrel Dorf had run away…
Ex-Walmart employee pleads guilty to fraud
FORT SMITH, Arkansas—A “valued, part-time Associate” employee of Walmart Stores Inc. has admitted to stealing an estimated $5,000 in cheap foreign-made merchandise from the world’s largest retailer. Tim Conklin, 67,…