Several people mourn the death of Windows Phone
An Ontario resident is among several others across Canada today who were upset to learn that Microsoft is ending support of the Windows Phone. While it has been over three…
Drumpf Drunk-Texted Putin Ahead of Friday Meeting
WASHINGTON, DC—U up? It was perhaps the result of too many light beers, a full day of golfing in the sun and not enough hot dogs. On Independence Day, in…
Cosby to Enlighten New Generation of Abusers with Speaking Tour
ALABAMA—After escaping sexual assault charges in a trial that resulted in a hung jury, Bill Cosby is ready to educate the masses. “I thought to myself, how can I monetize…
Melania Moves Into the White House on the Condition that The Donald Moves Out
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After five months of living apart, the President of the United States and the first lady are now living apart in different places. When elected, the Cheeto-in-Chief claimed he…
Cat impersonates beer bottle to attract negligent owner’s attention
An area cat who observed a steady decline in affection since aging out of the “cute kitten” phase recently embarked on an innovative new strategy: trying to assume the appearance…
Wynne – Tory Fighting Reminds Us of Our Parents’ Divorce
TORONTO—Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Mayor John Tory claim they want to do what’s best for us, the province of Ontario and the city of Toronto. But their constant…
French Trump Defeated by Rational Citizens
FRANCE—Last week, Emmanuel Macron defeated Marine LePen in a runoff to become the President of France. The fact that a democratic nation could differentiate between a far-right racist and a…