Oddsmaker Sees Opportunity in Future Mass Shootings
LAS VEGAS—Are you feeling lucky? They lay your money down and roll the dice. Mass shootings in America have reached the big time and citizens can finally cash in. In…
Drake Mounted on Front of Raptors Parade Bus
TORONTO—Sports fans in Toronto are expected to turn out in droves today as the city celebrates NBA champions, the Toronto Raptors. Players will ride through the city in open-air double-decker…
Premier Ford Announces Latest Efficiencies to Homeless, Sick, Uneducated Citizens
TORONTO—This morning, Premier Doug Ford held a press conference at Queen’s Park to update Ontarians on his efforts to balance the provincial budget. He was greeted by a rousing chorus…
Canada Confuses Blue Bin and Garbage Day in Philippines
PHILIPPINES—Canada’s squeaky clean reputation is getting trashed overseas. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte has demanded that Canada remove its trash from his country or face the threat of war. More than…
PewDiePie Asks White Supremacists to Unsubscribe
NEW ZEALAND—The Mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand on Friday left 50 people dead and as many injured. The accused murderer live-streamed part of the attack and called out “subscribe…
Prostitution Charges Rub Patriots Owner the Wrong Way
Sports is all about ritual. Eating the same breakfast. Putting on the right shoe first. Kissing a charm for good luck. On the day of the AFC title game, the…
Lessons from a Popular Stalker Romance
The Netflix series You gave people a reason to stay home this winter, and made some women reconsider whether their college boyfriend was really sweet or actually a creep. The…
Marie Kondo show “Manipulation Westerner Time” Big in Japan
TOKYO-Marie Kondo is the most famous professional organizer on the planet. She’s parlayed her popular books into the hit Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. The show is big…
Science Unwelcome in Alberta, Declare Yellow Vests
The yellow vest movement has crossed the pond and the prairies, landing in Alberta. Picking up the mantle laid down in France, some Albertans are rallying to bring attention to…
Taverner Hopes to Star in Grease Remake
TORONTO-Over the weekend, would-be new chief of the OPP Ron Taverner turned down his appointment and embraced his true calling. In the new year, Taverner will be pursuing the role…