LOS ANGELES, California—CBS Productions announced today that Bill Cosby will star in a reincarnation of the popular television franchise which has delighted audiences since 1945.
HOLLYWOOD—NBC announced recently that Bill Cosby is working on a return to television. Just the thought of the venerable Heathcliff Huxtable once more gracing the small screen sets nostalgic hearts aflutter. That is, if you remember him from The Cosby Show, and not The Bill Cosby Show or Bill Cosby, both TV flops.
There’s a new phenomenon in home entertainment, and it’s adversely affecting Canada’s television viewing population. Known as Missed Show Anxiety (MSA), it’s collapsing leisure time and putting countless people on edge.
“I’ve always enjoyed regular cable television,” said welder Jim Vice, “but ever since premium cable stepped up their game, I’ve been overwhelmed. There aren’t enough hours in the day to fulfill the societal demands of watching all this quality programming!”
TORONTO—A replica of the Iron Throne, from the popular HBO series Game of Thrones, came to CTV Agincourt this week and half the building lost its shit.
Promo producer Jeff Penn made the initial discovery. “I was walking through the Annex and happened to look in on the set of Off the Record. There it was! Just sitting in the dark! I ran back to the office and sent an email to fellow GOT enthusiasts.”
Experts fear millionaire businessman and Dragon’s Den investor Kevin O’Leary may be suffering from brain damage, after he told the audience of CBC’s “The Lang and O’Leary Exchange” that he believes 3.5 billion people living in poverty is “fantastic news” and that it will motivate people to work hard.
When asked recently how he feels about 85 people owning the majority of the world’s wealth, O’Leary announced proudly “[sic]…It’s a celebratory stat. I’m very excited about it. I’m wonderful to see it happen”.
Some experts believe his ego has actually become so large it’s created an epigenetic effect resulting in abnormal brain development, causing poor grammar, a complete lack of empathy and the inability to think logically.
Believed at first to be heroin, Mooseclean’s has learned that something far more terrifying and insidious really killed actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.
“He thought it was Max Headroom when he first saw it,” said a family friend speaking on condition of anonymity.
“Max Headroom but as a gay porn character.”
SOCHI, RUSSIA—The Olympic Broadcasting Services announced today that the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi will be broadcast via dashboard-mounted camera. Known formally as “videoregistrators”, the ubiquitous cameras are poised to catch all the action between February 7 and 23 next year.
with files from amiableCDN
Rogers Sportsnet, the rookie team in the league of Canadian sports broadcasting, has checked its senior competitors into the boards. With their historic deal for NHL broadcast rights in Canada, they’ve effectively placed Canada’s public broadcaster and rival The Sports Network into the penalty box for the next 12 years.
A mockumentary that kicked off “Shark Week” has the Discovery Channel in hot water. “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives” tells the story of a group of scientists searching for the modern-day version of a prehistoric shark that’s wreaking havoc off the coast of South Africa. But the shark, nicknamed Submarine, is as fake as the actors playing scientists.
NEW YORK—Late Night talk show host and new father Jimmy Fallon has a new co-host.