Ireland set to recognize Palestinian state, yet still ignore them at house party
NEW YORK—In a partially historic move, Ireland is set to recognize the Palestinian state at a house party, yet declines to say 'hello'.
Mixed-gender nude yoga class unsurprisingly a sausage fest
LOCAL—Grace Cann addresses a class of first timers, describing how to arrange their mat and blocks before finally inviting everyone to undress and join her for the first pose. It's…
Local mosque reports massive surge in interest from loser, dropout white guys
Following more horrific reports of Islamist terrorist attacks overseas, a local mosque has observed a sharp increase in attendance by unemployed or underemployed single white males with little or no…
75-year-old woman beats police officer mercilessly after being tasered
OAKVILLE—A police officer is recovering in hospital after a 75-year-old woman he tasered "became super strong" and "laid a beat down on him".
Mooseclean’s investigation: Target’s targeted failure
Target Canada's ship is sinking and although a few captains went down too, Operation Barbarossa 2 has nearly reached its objective. Documents were leaked to the Mooseclean's offices which lay…
OP-ED: ‘Serial’ more junk food than balanced listening
After months of gossip, spoofs and overheard conversations, I’ve finally decided to check out Serial for myself. First step: figure out what the hell everyone is talking about. A new…
Ice storm peddling confirms that winter cyclists are certifiably fucktarded
OTTAWA—Despite 15 millimetres of freezing rain coating the 18 centimetres of snow that fell recently, observers report that Ottawa bikes are continuing to traverse the National Capital Region.