Calgary man misunderstands Ice Bucket Challenge, victims shaken
Above: The best time to help someone with ALS is anytime they're least expecting it. A Calgary man has been arraigned on charges after performing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
Letters to the editor: Ants peeing in reader’s driveway
Often it happens that I lie awake at night, unable to sleep, or sleeping fitfully as I ponder the ants that urinate in my driveway. It isn't enough that they…
Burger King seduces Tim Hortons in marriage of convenience
TORONTO—In a move seen by many as an arranged marriage, American fast food giant Burger King has purchased beloved Canadian company Tim Hortons for $12.5 billion.
Canada’s Anti-Spam Law will put your children behind bars
When Canada's Anti-Spam Law ("CASL") came into effect on July 1, 2014, Canadians were dancing in the streets. Parliamentarians would have us believe that this was entirely due to the…
Study confirms escalators habitually out of commission
OTTAWA—In public spaces across the country, moving stairs remain stubbornly immobile. Unaware pedestrians approach these jagged-toothed people movers and stop short. The public seems to forget how to navigate these…
Scientists prove nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer
After hundreds of independent studies, scientists at the University of Toronto have finally concluded that nobody cares that cannabis cures cancer. The research, led by biologist Dr. Gianni Lucifero, showed…
Man never considered Bread For All Seasons* until now
TORONTO—The Toronto District School Board (TDSB) fall calendar is always highly anticipated. But last week it served to change at least one man’s perspective. Maybe even his life. “I had…
Teen discovers library more than urban legend
LIKED: Noémi Dagenais "shares" how pictures and text were published in ancient times, in an analog, local area networked, non-user editable format. The teens were delighted to discover that comments…
Society speaks out against allegations
Open Tuesday-Saturday, 9 to 5: Society claims that the nature of her day job runs counter to unfair allegations by the public. BELLEVILLE, Ontario—After decades of taking blame for every…
Rival protest groups clash on street corner
Violence broke out yesterday among two rival protest groups competing for space at the same intersection of Lakeshore and Trafalgar in Oakville. One group, who had gathered early Wednesday morning…