What’s Haunting Toronto this Halloween?
Toronto has some demons that need to be exorcised. This Halloween, let’s take a look at who and what is haunting the citizens of Ontario’s capital.
Voters Re-elect Candidate for Umpteenth Term for Lack of Compelling Reason Not To
It is often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. South-end residents have done just that, electing…
Angry Orange Volcano Named for POTUS
Hawaii—Unstable. Unpredictable. A wispy orange top. It practically named itself. With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have…
Devil Delivers on Ford Family Deal with Election Win
MARKHAM, ONTARIO—Doug Ford is the new leader of the Ontario PC Party. The Devil has claimed responsibility. The election announcement was delayed more than seven hours after disputes with ballots.…
Patrick Brown is our Ex, and Ontario is Us
OTTAWA—“It’s not you, it’s me.” With those words, Patrick Brown broke up with Ontario AGAIN. Brown stepped down as Ontario PC Party leader January 24 after CTV reported that two…
Cheeto-in-Chief and Kim Jong-un Argue Over Remaining Horsemen of the Apocalypse
WORLD—After taunting each other publicly over North Korean missile tests, world leaders Donald Drumpf and Kim Jong-un have a new beef. They can’t agree who should sit astride the third…
North Korean Officials Narrowly Avoid Tantrum with Nuclear Test
NORTH KOREA—Over the weekend, North Korea reported the successful testing of a hydrogen bomb and the equally successful avoidance of a Kin Jong-un super tantrum. “The Young General,” said a…
Don’t Tear Down That Civil War Statue – Repurpose it!
USA—Confederate monuments in the U.S. have become a hot button issue for “many sides”, as President Donald Trump would say. Some citizens see them as racist reminders of a shameful…
Drumpf-era White House uses HBO’s Deadwood as Model
WASHINGTON—Deadwood, the fictional American western television show with elements of racism, corruption and blue language, has been identified as the inspiration for Donald J. Drumpf’s White House. “I’m a big…
SpongeBob more newsworthy than ex-Prime Minister
It’s a sign of changing times when you’re the former Prime Minister of Canada, and you’re less popular in the news than the creator of a talking sponge. Despite his…