CBC wants sensitivity training for Borel after she rips them a new one
TORONTO—After having her sexual assault charges against Jian Gomeshi settled by peace bond last week, Kathryn Borel made a statement to the media. In the wake of what she said,…
Prince Harry declares Trudeau “Ultimate Wingman”
TORONTO—Prince Harry was in Toronto on Monday to launch pet project Invictus Games, which will take place in the city next year. The trip, however, was not all business.
New Purple Rain song teen’s favourite
P.E.I.—Grade 11 student Jordan Wexler recently discovered a new song he thinks will be a big hit. “Have you heard Purple Rain by Adam Levine?” asked Wexler. “It’s totes amazing!”
Prawn captures pawn in mall checkmate
WEST VANCOUVER—Park Royal Shopping Centre has launched a counter-attack on some of its regulars. The mall recently banned chess players from using space meant for food court patrons. “Not since…
Pope’s treatise like a letter to Penthouse
Pope Francis has penned a church document entitled “The Joy of Love”, and devout Catholics are saying it reads like a letter to Penthouse.
Nose to tail movement inspires uterus transplants
CLEVELAND, OHIO—Cleveland is known as home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and birthplace of Drew Carey. But C-Town may soon be famous for zombie babies.
Mooseclean’s gets first look at extended census
OTTAWA—The new Liberal government announced the reinstatement of the long-form census shortly after taking office. Nixed in 2010, the 61-question form is seen as invasive by opponents. However, proponents say…
“Young hottie” PILF wins election
Last week, Canada elected Justin Trudeau as the new Prime Minister. But this isn’t news to you unless you’ve been living under a rock. Or in the United States.
Playboy self-castrates
If you want to see a traditional centerfold, buy a Playboy magazine in the next few months. After March 2016, the publication will still showcase women in provocative poses, but…
Tube socks with your Slurpee?
TORONTO—Tired of hauling your cookies to Walmart and then being ridiculed on the bus ride home because of your billowing bags? Now you can pick up diapers for the baby…