Quiznos new nine-inch sub aims to please
Above: One woman deeply satisfied... the other buries her frustrations in a book. CANADA—A new Quiznos television ad declares Sometimes six inches isn’t enough, and sometimes twelve inches is too…
Conservative Party rally to annex neighbours
CALGARY—Faced with serious concerns by many Canadians and challenges raised by the opposition parties to the Harper Government plan to annex the North Pole, the Chancellor of the Right himself…
City-wide intelligence test scheduled for city of Toronto
TORONTO—City Hall has formally announced that legal residents aged 18 or older are invited to attend a voluntary examination of intelligence to be held October 27, 2014.
No free lunch for hungry Torontonians
TORONTO—The ice storm that hit Toronto December 21st left a trail of destruction including broken trees, downed hydro lines and a widespread power outage. It was also responsible for a…
Leafs look to re-sign Barilko in playoff push
TORONTO—Coming off their best regular mid-season in a decade, analysts are in agreement that the Toronto Maple Leafs have an excellent chance of experiencing this year's Stanley Cup playoffs from…
Canada still contesting with Santa for arctic sovereignty
OTTAWA—Despite another year of goodwill from Old St. Nick, Canada is holding steadfast to its claim over the North Pole, previously filed with the UN Commission on the Limits of…
Ford is a super, super, super, super, super, super, super dancer
TORONTO—Earlier this week, Rob Ford regaled city council with two disingenuous apologies and a handcuff pantomime. But the real highlight of the day was when the council floor rocked out…
Bergen favours removing long-gun registry, continued prohibition
CORNWALL—Conservative MP for Portage-Lisgar (Manitoba) and Minister of State for Social Development Candace Bergen met in the Cornwall Legion for the local Conservative Association fall breakfast.
‘Lawless’ resort opening in remote corners of Canada
Fairmont Hotels and Resorts has announced the construction of a brand-new hospitality and outdoor-activity resort which will encompass southern property in the territories of Nunavut and Northwest Territories, as well…
Senators, MPs support bill to limit PM’s power over bus waiting lounge
with files from amiableCDN OTTAWA—While Ontario MP Michael Chong's controversial private member's bill to reform Parliament has so far failed to garner the widespread support he had hoped, all is…