Idiot Elected to Run Country to Appoint Other Idiots to Help Run Country
WASHINGTON — In what critics have dubbed the “Council of Contradictions,” President-elect Drumpf’s latest proposed cabinet appointments have raised eyebrows, questions, and the blood pressure of anyone who has ever…
#MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain, Take 2
In a twist no one anticipated (or, perhaps, everyone secretly hoped for), a resurgence of the #MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain campaign has emerged following the Cheeto-in-Chief’s successful presidential bid. Once the viral centerpiece…
Denial of Service Attacks Only Seem to Embolden Political Satirists
OTTAWA — In a reversal that has made cybersecurity experts, political analysts, and amateur comedians collectively raise an eyebrow, a series of denial-of-service (DoS) attacks on political humour websites this…
Americans Elect Convicted Felon as President
WASHINGTON – In a move that left political analysts scrambling for new definitions of irony, the American people have elected a convicted felon as their 47th president. Donald J. Drumpf,…
Thomas Mulcair’s Beard Offers Services to Aspiring Trudeau Challengers
MONTREAL — In a surprising twist to Canadian politics, Thomas Mulcair’s beard, once a defining feature of the former New Democratic Party leader, has announced its availability to any politician…
Discount Senior Retirement Home Chain Targets People Who Didn’t Love Their Parents Very Much
TORONTO — Yes, Toronto. In a move that has raised eyebrows and lowered expectations, a new franchise of discount senior retirement homes, aptly named “Forget-Me-Not Homes,” has launched with a…
FOX News Accidentally Releases Fair and Balanced Reporting
NEW YORK — FOX News, the renowned bastion of conservative viewpoints, unintentionally met their “fair and balance” reporting standard after what insiders are calling a “clerical error” left the network’s…
Shakespeare Descendant Kicks Oxford Press CEO Over Dictionary’s Trendy Words
OXFORD, England — In an unexpected and theatrical twist befitting the Bard himself, a direct descendant of William Shakespeare has made headlines by physically confronting the CEO of Oxford University…
Baby’s Dramatic Baptismal Meltdown Stuns Churchgoers
TRURO, Nova Scotia (AP) — The tranquil town of Truro was thrown into disarray last Sunday when baby Olivia Thompson, just six months old, staged a dramatic protest during her…
Man Publishes Coffee Table Book Illustrating His Dishwasher Loading Technique
TIMMINS, Ontario — In a small but proud moment for the local literary scene, Timmins resident Brian Patterson has published a coffee table book that has garnered both curiosity and…