The Night After Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the house
Was an orgy of presents, worth more than… the house;
The Xbox was stuffed up the chimney with care,
For fear that the repo-man soon would be there;
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Ross Petty Presents My Contorted Christmas Face
TORONTO—Everybody’s favourite Christmas ham, Ross Petty, has returned with his latest holiday send-up. This year promises to be one to remember with a roster of hapless actors and cross-dressing facial contortionists presenting A Christmas Carol. The production features the usual… Continue Reading
Transit’s #thisiswhere Unintentionally Useful
TORONTO—In September, the Toronto Transit Commission (TTC) launched an awareness campaign to combat all forms of harassment on transit property. Over the last month, use of the #thisiswhere has skyrocketed. “I love this is where!” enthused TTC rider Emma Bowling.… Continue Reading
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Quebec outlaws beards and balaclavas
“I really don’t think they’ve thought it through,” Danielle Boulware said, referring to the Quebec National Assembly’s passage of Bill 62. The Ottawa paralegal has been looking carefully into the implications of the law, which will require anyone using public services to uncover their… Continue Reading
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Scotiabank Giller Prize Announcement Excites Hundreds
TORONTO—The 2017 Scotiabank Giller Prize finalists were announced October 2 to a crowd of 15 gathered outside CBC headquarters. The group included 10 journalists, four tourists and a homeless man. “This is so exciting!” said Stockholm resident, Lucas Nilsson. “We… Continue Reading
Trump and Kim Jong-un Argue Over Remaining Horsemen of the Apocalypse
WORLD—After taunting each other publicly over North Korean missile tests, world leaders Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un have a new beef. They can’t agree who should sit astride the third and fourth horses of the Apocalypse. “Obviously,” said Mr. Trump,… Continue Reading
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