Louis C.K. made a tentative return to masturbating in front of junior staff last night—asking some unknown comediennes to watch him masturbate in front of them at a small New York comedy club. The comedian, who stepped out of the… Continue Reading
Toronto has some demons that need to be exorcised. This Halloween, let’s take a look at who and what is haunting the citizens of Ontario’s capital. Jian Gomeshi. Every time he tires to make a comeback, people relive the Q… Continue Reading
It is often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. South-end residents have done just that, electing Diana Dietrich to a seventh term as city councillor. While… Continue Reading
Parents across Canada can agree that even after successful toilet training, the struggle continues with their children. “I stopped buying triple-ply years ago,” Alice Wells of Charlottetown, NS, lamented. “I mean, what’s the point? Even with the added thickness, a… Continue Reading
TORONTO-“If there’s one thing we know about Americans, it’s that they love guns!” said Tourism Toronto director, Abe Sinclair. The director plans on turning US gun lust into tourism gold. “When Toronto recently made headlines for having a higher homicide… Continue Reading
“No! Broccoli is yucky!” declared two-and-a-half year old Macy Arnold on Wednesday. Crossing her arms, she refused to eat the vegetable and sat in her highchair defiantly. “She used to be such a compliant child,” said Macy’s mother, Evelyn. “A… Continue Reading
Hawaii—With an angry orange glow, the Kilauea Volcano is destroying everything in its path. This natural disaster seems to have a relentless and all-consuming appetite. Locals have dubbed the monster Lua Pele Trump. “Everyone knows President Trump hates immigrants and… Continue Reading
TORONTO—A local music curator is reeling in the wake of DJ and producer Avicii’s death. “I will never compile a prime-time gym playlist the same way again,” said GoodLife Fitness employee Diyon Herath. Swedish Electronic Dance Music sensation Avicii, born… Continue Reading
Starbucks will close more than eight thousand US stores Sunday afternoon for anti-bias training. This forum is in response to the incident in Philadelphia that saw two black men arrested at the popular coffee chain on April 12. Managers everywhere… Continue Reading