TED Talks photographer laid off
Citing "creative differences" as the reason for termination, Katie Morgan has been released as the official photographer for TED Talks presentations. Due to "distressing similarities" between each of the 143…
Groomers discriminate – overcharge tripawds, woman complains
LOCAL—Carmen Ferris' Golden Retriever Sally is, by all accounts, the biggest sweetums you'll ever meet. At age 12-and-a-half she's the perfect pet, complete in every way – except that she…
Experts worry Kevin O’Leary may have brain damage
Experts fear millionaire businessman and Dragon’s Den investor Kevin O’Leary may be suffering from brain damage, after he told the audience of CBC’s “The Lang and O’Leary Exchange” that he…
NOPE-A! Greek olive oil threatened
ATHENS—In an effort to streamline Greece’s crippled economy, a government-funded study has recommended some fundamental changes to the country’s food production. A particularly slippery suggestion: blending sacred Greek olive oil…
Canada’s top Economics prof admits: “I don’t get it”
William Langille, one of Canada’s top Economics professors at the University of Toronto, has admitted that he doesn’t actually understand our economic system at all. “I don’t get it,” he…
Environment Canada declares wildlife dangerous to the environment
Canada’s Minister of the Environment, The Honourable Leona Aglukkaq has declared all Canadian wildlife a threat to the environment. “Beavers destroy thousands of trees a year,” Aglukkaq said. ”Cows and…
Ontario man hacks vehicle computer to pass emissions test
When his 2007 Corolla failed to pass Ontario's “new and improved” Drive Clean program, Thomas Callaghan was aghast. “I just can't believe it,” he told Mooseclean's. “Two years ago the…
Cutting the cheese
EAST COAST, USA—What food comes in a loaf, melts like a dream and is shelf stable? Velveeta, of course! But the processed cheese product that coats teeth and adheres to…
St. John’s man stays positive in face of Lululemon ban
A Newfoundland man has been banned from Lululemon Athletica stores for reasons he can not comprehend. Gump Brownsey, 52 calls the ban “unfair” claiming he was merely responding to encouragements…
Quiznos new nine-inch sub aims to please
Above: One woman deeply satisfied... the other buries her frustrations in a book. CANADA—A new Quiznos television ad declares Sometimes six inches isn’t enough, and sometimes twelve inches is too…