Trudeau calls Dibs on assisted suicide
Federal Liberals have voted in favour of legalizing assisted suicide. Leader Justin Trudeau, hesitant, at first, to reveal whether he would join with his party in endorsing Right to Die…
Toronto Mayor’s bizarre homophobia attributed to estranged relationship with penis
A doomed love affair between a young Rob Ford and his penis could be what spurred the 44-year-old Toronto mayor to demand the Gay Pride flag be removed from Toronto…
“Dark Knight” Peter MacKay to patrol red light districts
Federal Minister of Justice and Attorney General Peter MacKay, angered that New Brunswick is dropping current prosecutions of prostitutes and Johns, is taking matters into his own hands. "I will…
Mulcair spotted drinking at high school bush party
OTTAWA—In what was subsequently labelled "engaging young voters," leader of the federal NDP Tom Muclair was photographed last night at a park congregated by teenagers, drinking out of several different…
France relieved by Hollande infidelity revelations
While many around the world were troubled by reports of French President François Hollande's extra-marital affair with actress Julie Gayet, citizens of France were in a celebratory mood today. "Before…
Conservative Party rally to annex neighbours
CALGARY—Faced with serious concerns by many Canadians and challenges raised by the opposition parties to the Harper Government plan to annex the North Pole, the Chancellor of the Right himself…
City-wide intelligence test scheduled for city of Toronto
TORONTO—City Hall has formally announced that legal residents aged 18 or older are invited to attend a voluntary examination of intelligence to be held October 27, 2014.
No free lunch for hungry Torontonians
TORONTO—The ice storm that hit Toronto December 21st left a trail of destruction including broken trees, downed hydro lines and a widespread power outage. It was also responsible for a…
Canada still contesting with Santa for arctic sovereignty
OTTAWA—Despite another year of goodwill from Old St. Nick, Canada is holding steadfast to its claim over the North Pole, previously filed with the UN Commission on the Limits of…
Politicians race to meet “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year” deadline
With the calendar rapidly running out, federal and municipal politicians alike are making their last, best pitches for the coveted “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year Award” for 2013. Taking…