Extremely harsh winter caused by awkward man’s prayer for something to talk about
A Hamilton man is claiming the extremely harsh winter is a result of his prayers for God to help him with small talk.
Farewell to February
Record-breaking cold temperatures, chart-topping snowfall and storms galore made the shortest calendar month seem like the longest. Mooseclean’s put a woman on the street to ask hearty Torontonians what they…
Insider reveals true reason for budget delay
OTTAWA—“I know Joe Oliver is saying that it’s about oil prices, but the truth is that we just don’t have enough paper on hand,” said a source inside the Conservative…
Putting the skids on toilet paper advertising
Canadians, tired of being misled, are demanding truth in toilet paper advertising. Led by a group calling itself WIPE OUT LIES, angry citizens have had enough TP padding.
Harper to outsource human Canadians
To avoid the ramifications of a nuclear holocaust, severe global warming, or any other world-wide catastrophe – human consciousness will be conceived into computer circuits by the year 2100, Prime…
#stormchips movement inspires Maritime emergency kit
HALIFAX—Maritimers emerged unscathed and full of potato chips after a tempest blew through Eastern Canada last week.
Chris Hadfield depleted drug stash at International Space Station
Renowned Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield has been accused of consuming more than his share of mind-altering drugs aboard the International Space Station .
75-year-old woman beats police officer mercilessly after being tasered
OAKVILLE—A police officer is recovering in hospital after a 75-year-old woman he tasered "became super strong" and "laid a beat down on him".
Mooseclean’s investigation: Target’s targeted failure
Target Canada's ship is sinking and although a few captains went down too, Operation Barbarossa 2 has nearly reached its objective. Documents were leaked to the Mooseclean's offices which lay…
Ice storm peddling confirms that winter cyclists are certifiably fucktarded
OTTAWA—Despite 15 millimetres of freezing rain coating the 18 centimetres of snow that fell recently, observers report that Ottawa bikes are continuing to traverse the National Capital Region.