Hair Ties Club for Men
The undercut is a hairstyle beguiling young men across the nation. Longer on top, shaved short on the sides and looks great with a beard or moustache. But what do…
Restaurant owner saddened buffet hog undeterred by food poisoning
After agreeing to speak to Mooseclean's only on the condition that his identity would be obscured, a local Indian restaurateur has revealed the extraordinary lengths he went through to break…
Mixed-gender nude yoga class unsurprisingly a sausage fest
LOCAL—Grace Cann addresses a class of first timers, describing how to arrange their mat and blocks before finally inviting everyone to undress and join her for the first pose. It's…
Local mosque reports massive surge in interest from loser, dropout white guys
Following more horrific reports of Islamist terrorist attacks overseas, a local mosque has observed a sharp increase in attendance by unemployed or underemployed single white males with little or no…
Fat, stupid escalator riders eaten by zombie inventor gone amok
Most people have never heard of Jesse Wilford Reno but too many, it seems, are habitual abusers of his most famous invention: the escalator. "I've been rolling in my grave…
Porn star neighbour’s tricks are most desired treat this Halloween
In this suburban neighbourhood, streets are lined with modest one and two-level homes. Many are decorated for the upcoming Halloween holiday. But there’s a recently discovered treat hiding in the…
Local man calls in sad for work
Earlier today Pat Grandall, 38, called his boss to say that he was too sad to work.
Nobody has a problem with breastfeeding in public
Those who oppose breastfeeding in public don't exist, but that doesn't stop women activists from waging war against them.
“The right person for you is out there, somewhere,” would-be significant other says.
LOCAL—In the aftermath of your latest rejection from the opposite sex comes an official statement from the other party involved, delivered at a press conference convened at your now-formerly favourite…
Man survives by eating food found in yard
LOCAL—An area man who recently lost his job has survived starvation by eating a variety of things picked from his backyard, neighbours report. Nathan Moller, former Chef of recently-closed restaurant…