Kia announces SBOX: North America’s first sub-$1,000 car

Spurred by stalling domestic sales and the success of ultra-cheap vehicles in China and India, South Korean auto-producer Kia has announced “a bargain car for the rest of us”.

“People love new. People love cheap. People love biodegradable. SBOX is all this and more,” said Minjoon Kim, Director of Retail Development and Market Representation at Kia Motors Canada.

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“Can’t Touch This!” and other handy tips from Buckingham Palace

British Royals Prince William and Kate Middleton were in New York City recently. As part of their first visit to the Big Apple, the couple attended a Brooklyn Nets/Cleveland Cavaliers game. In a post-game photo op, NBA star LeBron James (“King James”) breached royal protocol when he slung his arm over the shoulder of Kate Middleton.

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US tech firm patents human genitals

Myriad, the company that created a firestorm of anger with its patent of the mutated BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes associated with cancer, now owns the patents to your koochie or baloney pony and dangleberries.

“U.S. Supreme Court rulings have set a clear precedent for what can be patented under the U.S. Patent Act,” explains Ronald L. Barr, Myriad’s legal counsel. “In particular, the definition created in Diamond v. Chakrabarty is ‘anything under the sun that is made by man.’ We think genitals definitely qualify.”

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Ontario Deputy Premier to fix homeless problem by mass deportation

With above-average literacy, healthcare-fortified bodies, and predominantly white skin, Canada’s homeless are a booming export to America’s economically decimated subprime mortgage crisis urban wastelands.

Deputy Premier Deb Matthews has finally tipped her hand on Ontario’s new Poverty Reduction Strategy to end homelessness.

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