Conservative Party rally to annex neighbours
CALGARY—Faced with serious concerns by many Canadians and challenges raised by the opposition parties to the Harper Government plan to annex the North Pole, the Chancellor of the Right himself…
City-wide intelligence test scheduled for city of Toronto
TORONTO—City Hall has formally announced that legal residents aged 18 or older are invited to attend a voluntary examination of intelligence to be held October 27, 2014.
No free lunch for hungry Torontonians
TORONTO—The ice storm that hit Toronto December 21st left a trail of destruction including broken trees, downed hydro lines and a widespread power outage. It was also responsible for a…
Leafs look to re-sign Barilko in playoff push
TORONTO—Coming off their best regular mid-season in a decade, analysts are in agreement that the Toronto Maple Leafs have an excellent chance of experiencing this year's Stanley Cup playoffs from…
Canada still contesting with Santa for arctic sovereignty
OTTAWA—Despite another year of goodwill from Old St. Nick, Canada is holding steadfast to its claim over the North Pole, previously filed with the UN Commission on the Limits of…
Obnoxious roommate cleans everybody else’s dishes
LOCAL—After postponing the trivial duty of washing the dishes and cookwear used to prepare the last several meals, Bilson Drive roommates Terry, Jordan, and Martin felt passively confronted by Lisa…
Politicians race to meet “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year” deadline
With the calendar rapidly running out, federal and municipal politicians alike are making their last, best pitches for the coveted “Most Objectionable Comment of the Year Award” for 2013. Taking…
Just in time for Christmas, Tory MP launches “Don’t Feed the Children” Foundation
with files from amiableCDN OTTAWA—In a bold move to solidly underscore his contention that it is not the federal government's role to ensure hungry children are fed, Industry Minister James…