Kumon, Sylvan offer free remedial math to Senators
OTTAWA—In separate press conferences held today, Kumon Math and Reading Centres and Sylvan Learning Centres of Ottawa both announced the availability of free remedial mathematics courses for any Canadian Senators…
Megalodon is a Megalo-lie
A mockumentary that kicked off “Shark Week” has the Discovery Channel in hot water. “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives” tells the story of a group of scientists searching for the…
Experts predict serious days ahead
Psychiatrists, humourologists and 1-900 psychics are predicting a deep recession in the amount of contrived lunacy, a recent study has found. "This is a grim forecast indeed," said Bartholomew Cornplaster,…
A-Rod guilty only of loving baseball
CHICAGO—On Monday, Major League Baseball handed out the longest suspension ever for use of performance enhancing drugs (PED). A 211 game time-out was given to New York Yankee infielder, Alex…
Weight loss firm’s social media outreach campaign disappoints
TORONTO—After mounting a novel campaign to lure new customers on Twitter, a nationwide weight loss and nutrition company is conceding defeat.
Politicians must step-up Pride Week participation: LGBT advocates
CALGARY—Canadian politicians, accustomed to showing up at Pride parades every summer to wave, smile and make people of all sexual persuasions equally uncomfortable by running stupidly with spray guns run…
Newer, even better version of Sammy Yatim shooting emerges
TORONTO—New video footage of the Sammy Yatim shooting has surfaced, Mooseclean's has learned. This time in crisp, clear high definition.
Detroit launches Kickstarter campaign to build new city
In the aftermath of declaring bankruptcy, the city of Detroit has turned to popular fundraising site Kickstarter to crowd source its next attempt at building a major metropolis.