The Billings Bridge BLACKREDS, Ottawa football’s farm team, enjoys an occasional rugby match to break up the monotony of constant football practice.
Photo: Bill Harrison (flickr)

OTTAWA—The professional football team hailing from the nation’s capital has been called many things: Ottawa Football Club, Rough Riders, Senators, Renegades and REDBLACKS.  Currently, they are referred to simply as losers, with the worst record in the CFL and a paltry single win this season.

Continue Reading

Ontario Deputy Premier to fix homeless problem by mass deportation

With above-average literacy, healthcare-fortified bodies, and predominantly white skin, Canada’s homeless are a booming export to America’s economically decimated subprime mortgage crisis urban wastelands.

Deputy Premier Deb Matthews has finally tipped her hand on Ontario’s new Poverty Reduction Strategy to end homelessness.

Continue Reading

Letters to the editor: Ants peeing in reader’s driveway

Often it happens that I lie awake at night, unable to sleep, or sleeping fitfully as I ponder the ants that urinate in my driveway. 

It isn’t enough that they inhabit my property, feast on my fertile grasses, and write weekly letters to the editor complaining about the appalling conditions under which they live. Of course I am never named in these letters, but I know that everyone knows that they mean me. Who else’s ants write to the local newspaper?

Continue Reading