Drumpf Drunk-Texted Putin Ahead of Friday Meeting
WASHINGTON, DC—U up? It was perhaps the result of too many light beers, a full day of golfing in the sun and not enough hot dogs. On Independence Day, in…
Melania Moves Into the White House on the Condition that The Donald Moves Out
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After five months of living apart, the President of the United States and the first lady are now living apart in different places. When elected, the Cheeto-in-Chief claimed he…
Wynne – Tory Fighting Reminds Us of Our Parents’ Divorce
TORONTO—Ontario Premiere Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Mayor John Tory claim they want to do what’s best for us, the province of Ontario and the city of Toronto. But their constant…
French Trump Defeated by Rational Citizens
FRANCE—Last week, Emmanuel Macron defeated Marine LePen in a runoff to become the President of France. The fact that a democratic nation could differentiate between a far-right racist and a…
Monopoly introduces Drumpf Administration edition
RHODE ISLAND, U.S.A.—Hasbro’s Gaming Division has introduced the latest Monopoly edition in recognition of the 45th President of the United States. “What better way to honor President Drumpf than with…
Proud expectant presidential parents
Moscow/New York—President Vladimir Putin of Russia and President-elect Donald Trump of the United States have jointly announced their intention to become parents of a new State.
Jason Kenney campaign reveals strategy for PC leadership run
In an exclusive telephone interview to his campaign office, Mooseclean’s Washington political desk discussed Jason Kenney’s strategy in his run for leadership of Canada’s Progressive Conservative party. To be precise,…
Racist, xenophobic, sexual offender regrets decision not to run for President
‘MERICA—With the results of the election now confirmed, Eddie Farnsworth nervously plays with his toupée.
Man makes historic decision… votes Hawaiian over Pepperoni
WASHINGTON—Earlier today, 20 year old Jeff Ranson expressed his desire for real change by voting for Hawaiian pizza over Pepperoni. “Some say voting doesn’t matter,” admitted Jeff. “But people in…
Trumpelstiltskin identified as Patient Zero in Creepy Clown epidemic
U.S.A.—Since August, sightings of creepy clowns or “killer clowns” have been reported across the U.S., Canada and even in the U.K. Now, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention…