Dustin Hoffman to join Dove ‘Real Beauty’ campaign
NEW YORK—An American Film Institute interview with Dustin Hoffman has revealed his deep and conflicted feelings about playing a woman in the 1982 movie Tootsie. Hoffman said the film started…
Urgent Appeal – Save the Senator
This is Pamela. Pamela doesn’t know how to fill out basic travel expense forms. As a result, Pam has racked up over $300,000 in fraudulent travel expenses. Pam had a…
Mayor Rob Ford refuses to add canoe lanes to Toronto roads
with illustration & reporting by finklebottom TORONTO—If the aftermath of Monday's flood in Toronto, where a month's worth of rain fell on the city within a few hours, environmentalists and…
Atlantic Lottery says, “Hey! What the hell… It’s only money and it’s not ours.”
The Government of PEI recently revealed that they had given the Atlantic Lottery Corporation $4M to secure the rights from a British company for the use of the lottery game…
Abandoning all pretense, candidate runs on sign colour platform
LOCAL—Voters beware. The next candidate to arrive on your doorstep may have absolutely nothing to say other than "Vote for me!", if Fraser Young's campaign is the way of things…
Local man doesn’t know what to do with your newborn’s height and weight information
Steve Lamonte would like to make it clear that he has no idea what to do with your baby's stats and would appreciate it if you just kept it to…
Clueless parent pledges to defend neurotic child ‘at any cost’
WINNIPEG—The father of a 20-year-old Winnipeg woman arrested for hitting a man and his small child with her car, then biting a police officer who sought to intervene, says the…
National day of smugness ends quietly, without incident
The mass demonstrations of conceit that swept the country yesterday were dispelled today, as people returned to their homes and jobs en masse. The yearly cultural phenomenon known internationally as…